One Time I Listened to My Sixth Sense

While reading the book that I mentioned in my previous post, I've been reflecting on times when I've been "been highly aware of the subtleties of my environment including the subtleties of people's body language, word choice and inflection." There was one time when this ability served me well.

In 1989 I moved to San Diego where I lived for several years. It was a great experience and broadened my horizons immeasurably. Within a year of moving there, I met a guy at a night club, Andrew DeSilva. Andrew was charming, intelligent and handsome. There was also something about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on...something that just caused my inner voice to make me approach with caution. Andrew and I went out a couple of times. He wanted to keep seeing me and called me a number of times but I let it go and didn't pursue him in any way. I never could articulate to myself why but I just felt it better that I not. I would see him around town once in a while and he seemed to run in a fast crowd, as did I, albeit different crowds. I ended up moving back to Texas and didn't think of Andrew DeSilva for several years.

In July of 1997 the news was seized with the story of a killer making his way across the country. I didn't recognized the name, Andrew Cunanan, but when I saw the picture that flashed on CNN, I had a very sick feeling. Cunanan was known to me as Andrew DeSilva, the same person that my inner voice had said stay away from 7 years earlier. He'd murdered four people in a cross-country journey during a three-month period. He then murdered Gianne Versace on July 15, 1997 on the steps of Versace's Miami Beach mansion and, eight days later on July 23, Cunanan committed suicide in the upstairs bedroom aboard a Miami houseboat apparently to avoid capture by the police.

One never knows where life will take you or whom you might encounter. I'm just reminded how fortunate I am to have good gut instincts.

Highly Sensitive Me

A friend recently loaned me a book called The Highly Sensitive Person which I've only just begun to read. The few pages I've read have brought home a realization that I seem to fall into the 1/5th of the population that falls into the "highly sensitive" category. Now the term "highly sensitive" conjures up someone who takes things too personally and is easily hurt but this is not what the book and the label refer to.

The title refers to some people's tendencies to:

* Be highly aware of the subtleties of their environment including the subtleties of people's body language, word choice and inflection;

* Be very sensitive to pain;

* Find themselves needing to withdraw during busy days to the solace of a quiet, private place;

* Be easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, or loud noises;

* Be deeply moved by the arts or music;

* Notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes and sounds;

* Make it a high priority to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations;

* Become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around them.

OK, a light bulb went on! All of these things seem so very familiar to me. I've often felt that I noticed things about people and situations that others miss. Indeed, I have a sibling who has just the opposite tendency - they are absolutely, totally unaware of most subtleties, especially those involving people. It seems that I pick up on how people say things, the inflection they use, their body language, a look in their eye and also on the things they don't say. I've referred to it as my Sixth Sense.

My sensitivity to pain is well known by close relatives, especially my mother. She has advised me that, even as a small child, I seemed to feel pain very deeply and intensely. This may have been a factor in my affinity for pain medication when I had any physical discomfort.

I've been acutely aware since my trip to treatment that making sure my schedule didn't get too full had to be a priority. When I get too many balls in the air, I get overwhelmed and anxious. Not a good thing for me. I'm also cognizant of how important quiet, alone time is for me. If I don't get it, I feel cranky, unfocused and get rather surley and let's not even talk about the affect that loud noises (car alarms, ringing cell phones, babies crying) have on my nervous system.

So far the book seems enlightening and empowering.