Old 97's - Never a Train Wreck

I went to La Zona Rosa here in Austin last night to see the Old 97's, the "alt-country" band fronted by my nephew, Rhett Miller. It's become tradition that the 97's play in Austin between Christmas and New Years every year and it always turns into a mini family reunion with Rhett's various siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and his 69 year old grandmother in attendance (his oldest Austin groupie). The guest list has to be a chore for Rhett and rather amusing for the attendant at the ticket window - "Now which Miller are you?".

Watching Rhett on stage last night I was lost in thought as I was flooded with memories about him over the years. I recall Rhett (and brother Ross and sister Christi) as sweet, funny, inquisitive kids in Highland Park; the shy, soft spoken teen with doe-like eyes; reports of a burgeoning teen folkie star in Dallas; numerous Austin Old 97's shows; my ill-fated trip to Manahattan to see the show (and the ensuing hospital stay); the horror we all felt when we were told that Rhett and wife Erica had barely escaped Ground Zero on 9/11; the joy of their son Max's arrival in the world and of the news that another child is on the way. Rhett's been a forgiving soul where I've been concerned over the years and has always been compassionate and kind.

An Old 97's show never dissapoints. Even if I weren't a proud family member, I'd enjoy the show. The 97's are tight, high energy and have their act long since down. But seeing family there and, even more importantly, seeing my 69 year old mother at the show bopping to the music along with all the twenty somethings makes it all that much more enjoyable.

Rock on Rhett.

PS: I was informed by my mom that she is 68 not 69. I am SOOOO in the doghouse.

Jingle Bells Palsy

After going to sleep about 3:30 this morning, I find myself awake at 5:30am. Excitement about Santa and Christmas morning? I wish. My insomnia is actually caused by steroid use; I've been taking Prednisone for 5 days now after having been diagnosed with Bells Palsy .

One week ago, I had this very strange sensation in my face; the left side of my face around my cheek and lip felt as though I was on the tail end of the effects of a shot of novacaine. The right side of my face didn't seem to want to fully cooperate with the slightly numb left side. It was just weird and I was having a little trouble actually articulating to myself what I was experiencing. Three days later I was seen by the nurse practitioner at work (how lucky am I to work for a place that has health care on site?) and she made the diagnosis of Bells Palsy. Bells palsy is a condition that causes the facial muscles to weaken or become paralyzed. It's caused by trauma to the 7th cranial nerve, and is not permanent in the majority of cases. But it's damn sure freaky. For example, if I try to raise my eyebrows in unison, the left one works, the right one doesn't; if I try to flare my nostrils, same thing. Try to grin a wide smile, I look like a character actor who has a half smile. My right eyelid doesnt close as much or as well as the left. All in all, rather disconcerting.

The research seems to indicate that Bells Palsy is brought on by Herpes Simplex 1 (HSV-1). No, this isn't the "I been sleepin' around" Herpes (that's believed to be Herpes Simplex 2 - HSV-2). Exposure to HSV-1 is common with a vast majority of the population having been exposed to it. Most people are exposed during childhood. Kissing between relatives is the most frequent source of exposure, but it may be possible that the virus is also spread while sharing towels, utensils, etc. The active virus is commonly associated with cold sores, but the virus often runs its course without causing any blisters - blisters actually appear only 15% of the time and I've never had a cold sore. The result is a large population of HSV-1 carriers who do not know they've been exposed to the virus. There's also Herpes Zoster wich is the chicken pox/shingles virus but that's another story. It's thought that when the latent virus reactivates at the facial nerve the immune system begins to produce antibodies, causing an inflammation.The nerve itself becomes inflamed, or the inflammation within the canal exerts pressure on the nerve. The result is that the nerve is compressed inside its bony tube and the compression of the nerve is the injury that stops transmission of signals to muscles. Unable to receive signals to contract and relax, the muscles become temporarily weakened or paralyzed.

Not content to sit back and be passive about this, I've hit it with everything I can think of. I'm taking Valtrex (an antiviral), prednisone which I've discovered has some nasty side effects including include retention of sodium (salt) and fluid, weight gain, high blood pressure, loss of potassium, headache, muscle weakness, puffiness of the face and psychiatric disturbances. The psychiatric disturbances include depression, euphoria, insomnia, mood swings, personality changes, and even psychotic behavior. I haven't had any psychotic behavior (at least not any that any of my personalities remembers) and I damn sure havent had any euphoria (a little friggin' euphoria would be a damned nice Christmas gift Santa). But insomnia, a little depression and some bona fide grumpiness I'm definitely experiencing.

I'm also wolfing down the B vitamins, the amino acid L-carnatine, echinacia, have visited a chiropracter and had my first acupuncture session yesterday. Leave no stone unturned. This morning (now almost 7am as I write this) I'm thinking there may have been a very, very slight improvement, perhaps 5-10% in my facial muscle control. But I'm so exhausted and irritable it's hard to tell.

So say a prayer for my face folks. Imagine me not being able to show a full look of surprise (and there is so much that amazes me daily). If I'm really PO'd I can't flare my nostrils like an angry bull. Did I mention I'd like for my right eye to blink without me making a concious effort? If I see a really cute guy, I've always winked with my right eye. Am I supposed to change my whole "here's winking at you kid" thing to the left now?! A half smile may look good on the Mona Lisa but I need a whole one.

Ho, ho, ho.......

Simply the Best

I was pleased to see that Tina Turner is amongst the most recent recipients of the Kennedy Center Honors. Tina Turner has always been one of my favorite performers and I've had the pleasure of seeing her six times (1978, 1985, 1987, 1997 and twice during her farewell tour in 2000). The first time I saw her was at the Dallas Fairmont Hotel's Brasserie Room. I was all of 17 and didn't know much about Tina or what she did but a friend who worked there got me in for free and I rarely pass up free things.

I was blown away by this woman! Seeing her from 40 feet with about 100 other people, I remember thinking to myself that she was truly incredible and really should be playing stadiums. Within a few short years she was. If you've never seen Tina Turner live, the only way I can describe her is this hot blast of sensual energy hitting the stage. The woman goes and goes and goes for 2 hours (in stiletto heels no less) and always finished the show with her trademark Proud Mary (it's hers even if CCR wrote it). Even at the last show when she was 61 years old, she virtually outdanced her backup dancers who were less than half her age. As Oprah said at the awards ceremony, seeing Tina live was something that one should "Add ... to the list of things you do before you die." Her life story and her vitality can provide us all with lessons in persistance and the fact that age is really just a number.

The Kennedy Center Honors will be shown on December 27th.

An Egregious Failure of Duty

There is much discussion these days as to the proper course of action in Iraq. This is a vitally important question, one which the President, the Congress and the American people should take seriously and give thoughtful consideration to. The outcome of this war, now that we've launched it and are caught deep in the quagmire, has tremendous implications for the future of the Middle East and the security of the United States.

Equally important is the discussion regarding the failings of the administration in the run up to this endeavor. We all recall the rage and violation that we felt on September 11, 2001. While I personally have never liked George W. Bush or felt he was a legitimate President, I supported him whole heartedly in the days immediately after 9/11 and was completely in favor of going into Afghanistan to clean out that sewer of terrorists and radical Islamic fundamentalists. Indeed this feeling was prevalent throughout the country in early 2002. At that time, 76% of Americans approved of the job Bush was doing in dealing with the war on terrorism.

When the United States sorely needed a leader who would conduct a real international campaign against terrorism and its causes using skill and determination, Bush chose instead to unilaterally declare war on a state that did not and never had represented a terrorist threat. He and his minions shirked their duty and used the vicious attack on the US as an excuse to attack Iraq and enrich campaign contributors. His duty was to protect Americans, not unnecessarily thrust American troops into harm's way. His duty was to decrease the threat of terrorism, not fuel it. His duty was to judiciously use the goodwill towards the US that was prevalent after 9/11, not squander it.

George W. Bush failed in his duty to the country.

120 Days (but who's counting?)

Today marks 4 months clean and sober. I won't be at my gay 12 Step meeting as I went yesterday and, in all honesty, I just wanna go home, watch the TV and do a little Ebay shopping. Not to worry folks, I just wanna veg at home, not wash down morphine with a good bourbon. It's only been on occasion that I've had a hankerin' for a glass of wine or a Maker's Mark with a splash of coke. Not a craving mind you, just a thought about how much I do enjoy the taste of each. Having dinner with my sister at a nice restaurant in downtown Austin a week ago, I ordered a beef filet that, while delicious, would have been better with a rich cabernet.

But alas, it's very clear to me that my propensity to use Rx drugs is fueled by my need/desire to alter my mood and that if I drink, even just a little bit, that faint, addictive voice in my head will be telling me very soon, "If it's ok for you to have a glass of wine with dinner, it's gonna be ok for you to take a xanax. Go ahead, you can do it! You can just have one". Of course if I do, I won't have just one; I'll have four. That time. Then it will be six and on and on. Then it'll be back to the treatment center and I really do prefer the high thread count linens on my bed and not having a manic depressive roommate who flicks his Bic lighter all over the room at 5am.

There are so many benefits to daily sobriety. Conciousness. Clarity. Regularity (yeah, the high fiber kind). Like WOW! It's so nice to remember exactly what I did the day before (even if I can't always remember where my wallet is). It's so nice to have people actually seem to enjoy my phone calls (even if I'm not prone to calling very often). It's so nice to enjoy being cognizant of every feeling I have (even if sometimes that feeling is that something or someone has irritated the piss outta me). It's just nice being present, alert, in control and not being the "victim" that I'd become. Life is better.

PS: I did go to a meeting after all.........

Re: The Best of Craigslist

OK, some of this stuff is priceless.....a MUST read!

The Best of Craigslist

For some reason I've just recently discovered Craigslist, the online posting site for jobs, classified, rants/raves, personals, sex and a lot more. The best part of it is the Best of Craigslist. Check it out:

http://austin.craigslist.org/about/best/

What Does Your Dad Do?

David was in his fifth grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father."My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money."

The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "he works for the Bush administration, but I was too
embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Dishonest? The President? You betcha!

AP poll: Most Americans say Bush not honest

It only took six years, 2055 armed service member deaths, $1 trillion in additional federal debt, death and dispair in New Orleans, and a precipitous decline in respect for the United States amongst the world community, but finally Americans are beginning to see W and his cronies as the dishonest, thieving warmongers they are and always have been. You can't fool the American people. Well, not for more than 6 years anyway.

What lies have been told by this crowd? OK, let's take it from the top:

1) Bush won the 2000 election; Horseshit. Actually, numerous crimes were committed to steal the election in 2000.

2) Massive tax cuts were a good idea, indeed essential and would equally benefit all tax payers; Horseshit. Actually 52 percent of the total tax cuts went to the richest one percent and a certain number of low and middle-income families received no tax cut, the cuts weren't necessary and indeed are causing the country great harm. See the $1 trillion dollar reference above.

3) Iraq possessed chemical weapons, had attempted to purchase equipment to enrich uranium for nuclear weapons, was a threat to the United States and might deliver WMD's via drones to the continental US at any time; Horseshit. We invaded a country that had not attacked us, did not want war with us, and did not threaten us—to strip it of weapons we now know it did not have and the administration knew it didn't have prior to the start of the war.

4) Saddam had long-established ties with al Qaeda; Horseshit. This lie has been a favorite of Darth Cheney. The Sept. 11 commission reported that it found no "collaborative relationship" between Iraq and al Qaeda. Period.

5) Bush said he was supporting our troops in combat; Horseshit. An investigation by 60 Minutes and numerous other news organizations found an alarming lack of armored vehicles, field radios, night vision goggles, and even ammunition. Brave men and women were maimed and/or died because of this.

6) The economy was in recession when W took the oath of office on Jan. 20, 2001; Horseshit. According to National Bureau of Economic Research, the official arbiter of recessions and expansions, the recession did not begin until after President Clinton left office with the economy peaking and beginning to shrink in March 2001, two months after the Bush presidency began.

7) Bush had no idea and would not have sold his Harken stock had he known of the company's impending setback; Horseshit. SEC records show that Harken's president had warned board members two months before Bush's sell-off that the company had liquidity problems that would "drastically affect" operations. Bush was a board member.

One could go on and on. This administration was born of a massive fraud in Florida and its policies and conduct have been based on lie after lie and excessive secrecy. It's sad that brave people died, poor people drowned, our national debt was run up to reward the wealthy and world opinion of the US had to be fractured while the majority of Americans took their sweet time to pull their heads out of their buttocks and figure this out. The crimes committed by this administration caused grave harm to our country and the only appropriate answer for these crimes is prosecution of those responsible and the impeachment of this President. While that's a long shot with Republicans in control of Congress, it's not outside the realm of possibility. Whatever the outcome, for the sake of these United States, the elections of 2006 and 2008 must produce a dramatic change. If not, we're doomed to more war, financial ruin and more lies.

Haven't we had enough?

Thoughts on Being 44

44 year ago today, my mother was kind enough to endure labor and delivery and bring me into the world. Guess I owe her one, huh? I mean, carrying a human being around in your womb and then passing that lil' rascal isn't something I'd do without expecting some payback. Heck, make that a lifetime of gratitude, some foot rubs and peeled grapes on demand. Fortunately, my mom aint that demanding; she just asks that I cause her no inordinate amount of worry and, recently, I've made every attempt to oblige.

My BD was remembered by a couple of people whom I know keep up with these things and by one or two who surprised me. Then there are a couple who never remember even though I make a point of remembering there's. One of those goes so far as to plan themselves a birthday dinner and gets a little pouty if people can't make it, but even when I drop hints about mine coming up, he/she doesn't remember mine. Oh well, it is after all only one day.

If I live to be 88 (which is a toss up given that males in my father's side tend to die by 70 and my mom's side not much more than that although almost all were smokers; I'm not, my blood pressure is pretty good, cholesterol is good and I've quit abusing my body), that means I'm halfway through my life. Wow that's a hell of a note. It seems like I should get a sportscar, a toupee and a young, trophy boyfriend. But then, I dont have the money for a sportscar, I still have most of my hair and I've been looking for the young, trophy guy for a while now.

Maybe I'll postpone the midlife crisis until I'm 50.

Samuel Alito’s America

ALITO WOULD OVERTURN ROE V. WADE: In his dissenting opinion in Planned Parenthood v. Casey, Alito concurred with the majority in supporting the restrictive abortion-related measures passed by the Pennsylvania legislature in the late 1980’s. Alito went further, however, saying the majority was wrong to strike down a requirement that women notify their spouses before having an abortion. The Supreme Court later rejected Alito’s view, voting to reaffirm Roe v. Wade. [Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey, 1991]

ALITO WOULD ALLOW RACE-BASED DISCRIMINATION: Alito dissented from a decision in favor of a Marriott Hotel manager who said she had been discriminated against on the basis of race. The majority explained that Alito would have protected racist employers by “immuniz[ing] an employer from the reach of Title VII if the employer’s belief that it had selected the ‘best’ candidate was the result of conscious racial bias.” [Bray v. Marriott Hotels, 1997]

ALITO WOULD ALLOW DISABILITY-BASED DISCRIMINATION: In Nathanson v. Medical College of Pennsylvania, the majority said the standard for proving disability-based discrimination articulated in Alito’s dissent was so restrictive that “few if any…cases would survive summary judgment.” [Nathanson v. Medical College of Pennsylvania, 1991]

ALITO WOULD STRIKE DOWN THE FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE ACT: The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) “guarantees most workers up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to care for a loved one.” The 2003 Supreme Court ruling upholding FMLA [Nevada v. Hibbs, 2003] essentially reversed a 2000 decision by Alito which found that Congress exceeded its power in passing the law. [Chittister v. Department of Community and Economic Development, 2000]

ALITO SUPPORTS UNAUTHORIZED STRIP SEARCHES: In Doe v. Groody, Alito agued that police officers had not violated constitutional rights when they strip searched a mother and her ten-year-old daughter while carrying out a search warrant that authorized only the search of a man and his home. [Doe v. Groody, 2004]

ALITO HOSTILE TOWARD IMMIGRANTS: In two cases involving the deportation of immigrants, the majority twice noted Alito’s disregard of settled law. In Dia v. Ashcroft, the majority opinion states that Alito’s dissent “guts the statutory standard” and “ignores our precedent.” In Ki Se Lee v. Ashcroft, the majority stated Alito’s opinion contradicted “well-recognized rules of statutory construction.” [Dia v. Ashcroft, 2003; Ki Se Lee v. Ashcroft, 2004] \r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n",1]

Sure sounds familiar.

"I have done nothing wrong" - Tom DeLay, R-Texas, Sept. 28, 2005

"I'm not a crook" - Richard Nixon, Apr. 3, 1974

Oh How I Long For the Days of a Blow Job Scandal...

"I will also swear to you that I will bring honor and dignity to the White House, so help me God," George W Bush, October 30, 2000.

With the indictment of "Scooter" Libby, W's White House is showing just how honorable it really is. Bold lies, deception, cronyism, greed and arrogance have characterized this administration. These indictments may just be the crack in the seemingly teflon armor that has allowed these thieves to operate with seeming impunity. Indeed one political commentator predicted these indictments by saying, "my guess is that there are multiple indictments coming, for lying to investigators, perjury, obstruction of justice, and disclosure of national security secrets for political purposes. And maybe conspiracy."

The indictments are just the beginning. This has the potential to cause the media and the general public to finally start asking pointed questions about a number of things, especially the Iraq war and how it happened in the first place. That same political commentator I quoted above went on to say, "What the White House has to fear is a trial, six months or a year down the road, where all the secrets of what was done to stampede us into war come spilling out.. it could...become about whether we were lied into a war General Odom calls the 'greatest strategic disaster in the history of the United States'." That commentator was no namby pamby, pinko commie, left winger; that commentator was none other than Pat Buchanan and if Pat's concerned about this possibility, my guess is the neocons are having a case of incontinence.

Libby and lying to investigators, Delay and criminal conspiracy, Frist and insider trading stock sales, the indictment of Larry Franklin for leaking classified intelligence, the scandals keep on a comin'. They all involve criminal acts that relate to greed, violation of the law for political gain, passing classified information to a foreign government or lying to a grand jury about revealing a CIA operative's name in retaliation for her husband not supporting an illegal war.

And the Republicans got the country all whipped up because Clinton lied about a blow job?

Bringing Freedom to Iraq.....oh, and Death Too

"Iraq airstrikes kill dozens in Ramadi area"the headline reads today. The always honest U.S. military reported that coalition forces launched airstrikes Sunday in and around Ramadi, west of Baghdad, killing "an estimated 70 terrorists." Of course they didnt mention the 20 people killed -- including six children -- and 25 wounded who, according to an Iraqi doctor,were civilians. Of course, the administration doesnt want to talk about the innocents dead as a result of our illegal war. W was quoted as saying, "The bombers are having an effect...hundreds of innocent Iraqis are being killed." Now W wasn't speaking about our bombers rather he was speaking of insurgent bombers. While he may have expressed concern about innocent Iraqi's killed by our bombs at some point, I could find nothing indicating he ever had. Not surprising.

The internet site, iraqibodycount.net, advises that somewhere between 26,000 and 30,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed in US airstrikes and related military action including up to 7,350 deaths which resulted from coalition military action during the "major-combat" phase prior to May 1st 2003. Now don't get me wrong, I realize that Saddam Hussien was an evil, despotic tyrant. I realize that he ordered the deaths of many, many innocent people. But I'm deeply bothered that I am represented by a government that would use my money to invade a country under false pretenses and cause the deaths of all these people using bombs and bullets bought with my tax dollars. The Ultra Right, blinder wearing, uberPatriots dont seem bothered by any of this. They arent bothered by (the soon to be) 2,000 US dead, they certainly arent bothered by or perhaps even cognizant of the Iraqi deaths, and they arent bothered by the outright lies that got us into this mess.

They may not be bothered by any of this but I am.

How Annoying!

As I go through my daily routine, I find there are some things that annoy me. Among them:

1) Obnoxious, loud cell phone rings. Cell phones have a vibrate option; use it.

2) Loud, public cell phone conversations. Find a remote corner somewhere.

3) Automated phone answering "trees" that have too many options and slow, SLOW computerized voices giving me those options.

4) People who wear too much cologne. The only person that should be able smell your cologne is a person who is kissing your neck, not me across the room.

5) People who hyphenate their last names (usually women). Just pick one, ok? And please dont ask me to call you Ms. Huffstetler-Chaikovsky. Jeez.

6) People who talk to me on speaker phones without asking permission first.

7) Forwarded emails that havent had the multiple addresses edited off. If you MUST forward me emails, perform this simple courtesy, ok?

8) Cigarette smoking. Period. 'Nuff said.

9) Stupid commercials, especially those with jingles that become glued to your brain.

What annoys you?

Unfounded Anxiety

I'm continuing on down the road of recovery and, by and large, enjoying the journey. 74 days of complete sobriety although I will admit to being intoxicated by clarity of thought, vividly felt emotion and an occassional indulgent dessert. Life is still good.

I had the opportunity last night to see an old friend who I'd been out of touch with for many months. I'm still getting used to telling people of my addiction and rehab experience and I found myself quite anxious as the time to meet this friend approached. As you might imagine a true friend to react, he was pleased and supportive when I told him of my newfound abstinence and the related experiences. My anxiety quickly melted away and our conversation soon turned to life, men, sex, politics and all the other things we would normally jabber about.

I guess it's a natural human reaction to feel the way I did when our meeting approached. When a person must admit and discuss their substance abuse, it dredges up a variety of bad memories and feelings. It also causes the mind to run wild with the possible reactions of the person they're about to talk with. So far the reactions have not justified the anxiety. All friends and family members I've outed myself to regarding all this have been loving and supportive including one friend who insists on telling me in every voice mail they leave that I sound"so clear" and "so good". I could live without this repeated reminder of how inebriated I must have sounded prior to July 28, 2005 but I also realize that the motivation behind this friend telling me this over and over again is truly a good one. I'll get over it.

Onward without the fog.

No Energy (or statesmen)

So gas is at $3 a gallon, Big Oil is swimming in net revenue, our "friends" in the House of Saud have extra billions to fund more Madrasas and the Bushies are waking up to the fact that, in lieu of a comprehensive energy policy, conservation is of vital importance. This coming from the gang who's only energy policy has been "use all the oil we want and drill in Alaska."

US Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman said today, "Most of us have viewed energy availability as a kind of right of citizenship," and we might have to rethink that. Well duh! If Americans have viewed it that way, it may be in part due to a President who presented that as perfectly OK. It wasn't too many years back (yes folks, these people have been in power for years now) former presidential press secretary Ari Fleischer was asked whether Americans' heavy energy demands required any lifestyle change. "That's a big no," said Fleischer. Indeed Darth Cheney called conservation a "personal virtue," not a sound energy policy. Well Dick (I really mean dick), it might be in our best interest if we all got virtuous rather quickly.

A 10% reduction in our oil consumption would eliminate the need for the oil we import from that rancid boil on the butt of humanity called the Persian Gulf. Doesn't seem like too much to ask of Americans in order to benefit our national security and extricate ourselves from the ever more dangerous Middle East now does it? A true statesman would launch this country on a Manhatten Project type effort to do just that.

But then, a statesman doesn't occupy the White House.

Blessings....author unknown

If we could shrink the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like this:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from the Western Hemisphere

8 Africans

52 females

48 males

70 non-white

30 white

89 heterosexual

11 homosexual

80 would live in substandard housing

70 unable to read

1 near death

1 near birth

1 would have a college education

1 would own a computer

6 would possess 59% of the world's wealth

and all of those from the US

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education become glaringly apparent.

Therefore:

If you have food in your refridgerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world;

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive the week;

If you have money in the bank and change in a dish somewhere, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy;

If you can attend a religious meeting without fear of harrassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more blessed than 3 billion people;

If you have never experienced the danger of war, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are more blessed than 500 million people;

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over 2 billion people who cannot read.

As you are reminded how life is for many of our fellow human beings, remember just how blessed you really are.

A Political Witch Hunt? Nah.

Tom Delay has been indicted by a Travis County Grand jury at long last; the crack in this insolent punk's armor is beginning to split wide open. You can get away with a lot when you are an unscrupulous politician who will stoop to any low to advance his party's cause, but you can't get away with an abuse of power in Travis County due to that little ole prosecutor named Ronnie Earle.

Now Delay's people are crying political witch hunt. Kevin Madden, DeLay's spokesman, dismissed the charge as politically motivated. "This indictment is nothing more than prosecutorial retribution by a partisan Democrat," Madden said, citing prosecutor Earle, a Democrat. Madden later added: "They could not get Tom DeLay at the polls. They could not get Mr. DeLay on the House floor. Now they're trying to get him into the courtroom. This is not going to detract from the Republican agenda." Not so fast Kevin.

Ronnie Earle is an equal opportunity prosecutor. He's prosecuted 11 Democrats and 4 Republicans during his 27 years in office. Among these was Democrat Texas Attorney General Jim Mattox. Democrats, for their part, are still upset over his prosecution in 1985. While pushing a state lawsuit against Mobil Oil Co., the Democratic AG argued with Mobil's lawyers, which led to his indictment. He was acquitted and years later, Jim Marston, a civil lawyer in Austin and friend of Mr. Mattox, asked Earle why he went ahead with the questionable case. "I said, 'Ronnie, how can it be an abuse of power to threaten a lawyer? We threaten each other all the time.' He told me that elected officials are held to a higher standard. They are supposed to be [above suspicion]...". Earle himself perhaps put the matter best: "This is not about Democrats and Republicans. It is about cops and robbers. This is an investigation of a crime."

Tom Delay has hardly been above suspicion and the whole Texas Association of Business and Texans for a Republican Majority mess surely smells criminal. Texas District Judge Joseph Hart ruled on May 28, 2005, that the treasurer of Texans for a Republican Majority (TRMPAC), organized by DeLay, violated the state's election law by failing to report $684,507 in contributions from corporations and other donors in 2002. The decision upholds a complaint by Democrats about the way DeLay and his advisers financed a 2002 political victory in Texas which allowed DeLay's allies in the state Legislature to redraw congressional districts and elect four additional Republicans to the U.S. House in 2004. Violating state election law would be a crime. Criminal conspiracy is truly a crime that's punishable by six months to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000. Ouch! No wonder Delay's spokesman is crying.

Delay consorts with some rather slimy folks, such as Jack Abramoff, a Washington lobbyist at the center of a federal criminal and tax probe. The airfare for a London and Scotland trip taken by Delay in 2000 was charged to an American Express card issued to Abramoff. House ethics rules bar lawmakers from accepting travel and related expenses from registered lobbyists. This is just one of a host if smelly affairs Delay has been involved in.

Watch him squirm folks, watch him squirm.

The Bug Killer Gets Some Payback

DeLay Indicted in Campaign Finance Probe
WASHINGTON Sep 28, 2005 — A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged Rep. Tom DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, an indictment that could force him to step down as House majority leader.

Sweet!

The Presidents in Oz

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?

"Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: " I've come for some courage.""NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well, I.......I think I need a brain.""DONE" says the Wizard."WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"

Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart.""I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Bill answers, "Is Dorothy here?"

An Unreal Conversation

I work as a licensed agent for an insurance company and take inbound calls from people with questions/concerns about their policies. The calls range from payments to changes on policies to inquiries about premium changes. Sometimes boring, sometimes challenging, sometimes mind blowing. What follows is a real conversation with a policy holder who was incredulous that her policy had cancelled over a month earlier because we had not received required paperwork back from her.

me: Mam, your policy cancelled because we didn't receive back from you paperwork required the state. We sent it out to you when you bought the policy and then sent 2 reminders.

customer: Well I never read that stuff you send me. I always assume it's just junk mail.

me: Mam, you might wish to think of anything you receive from an insurance company you are paying money to to insure your property as anything but junk mail and important enough to open.

customer: Really?

Mind blowing.

A Message of Compassion from the Dalai Lama

Yesterday I had a most extraordinary opportunity to see His Holiness the Dalai Lama at the Erwin Center here in Austin. This opportunity presented itself 3 weeks ago as I was riding public transit around the city on my day off. I'd gone to the area where my bank is located and had stopped in front of a nearby book store to peruse their sales items. I happened upon "The Art of Happiness at Work" by the Dalai Lama for the bargain price of $4.99 and snapped it up. When I got back on the bus, the Lifestyle section of the Austin paper was sitting on the seat next to me and when I picked it up and turned to the inside page, there was a notice advertising the spiritual leader's upcoming talk. I noticed that the tickets were being given away the following Tuesday and he was speaking two Tuesdays after that. Tuesday being my day off during the week, it seemed to me I was supposed to go see the Nobel Peace Prize winner. It was also in keeping with my committment to explore spirituality.

Wearing traditional red and gold robes, His Holiness entered to a standing ovation and acknowledged the crowd with hands clasped in Buddhist style greeting. He took off his sandles, seated himself cross legged on the ornate chair, cleared his throat and began to speak. I had difficulty understanding him for the first few minutes as English was clearly not his first language. Once I did begin to follow him, I realized that his message was clear and simple; compassion was the key to living in a global community and all human beings are entitled to a happy life.

His Holiness also called for religious harmony, saying that "all religions have some potential to serve humanity." Religion, he said, can offer hope in times of tragedy such as hurricanes. This reminded me that regardless of my strong feelings about the many evils of organized religion, it does indeed serve a vital purpose for millions around the globe.

He went on to say that if audience members found his ideas interesting they should follow up with "further investigation." "If you think these ideas are not much of interest, then forget it," he said, drawing laughter from the 12,000+ in attendance.

This experience with a"simple monk", as he referred to himself, was exhilarating, moving and one which I'll never forget. Truly a once in a lifetime encounter, it has encouraged me to continue my spiritual search and reminded me that my daily prayers should always include the request that I have the ability to deal with all human beings in a compassionate way

Restroom walls

FROM THE RESTROOM WALL:

If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
- Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia

If you voted for Bush in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. - Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Bush: A Borrow and Spend Republican

Republicans are fond of labeling opponents as "Tax and Spend" democrats. Of course, nothing is ever said about the "Borrow and Spend" Republicans who are in control of the White House and both houses of Congress. W made a major speach from Jackson Square in New Orleans the other night in which he promised to rebuild the Gulf Coast. Before Katrina hit, the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office estimated the 2006 budget deficit at $314 billion, down from $331 billion for the current fiscal year. Those annual deficits add to the historic federal deficit which now totals a mind boggling 7.9 trillion dollars! Analysts estimate reconstruction costs will be at least $200 billion. But two top White House officials, during a briefing with reporters Friday, refused to estimate the total cost of Bush's proposals so no one really knows for sure what the total will be for this unprecedented domestic rebuilding.

Now our "I will not raise your taxes" president was quoted as saying, "We should not raise taxes." Of course, what this means is an ever exploding federal deficit the majority of which was accumulated under Reagan and W. This is a debt that we pass on to future generations to pay off, a debt that will increase interest rates for current generations, a debt that will largely be held by and payable to foreigners and just flat out poor policy. One would think that given the facts that we are at war (albeit an illegal, immoral one), that our country has suffered a historic natural disaster that requires rebuilding whole cities and caring for hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens and that prudence dictates increased spending on homeland security, that the top 1% of income earners could give up their very lucrative tax cuts to pay for these necessities. But W would rather just borrow the money and add to the debt.

And so it goes.

The Rehabilitation of Me

July 28, 2005 is a date that marks a major event in my life. For 28 years I've been using some form or another of mind altering chemical, legal and/or illegal. Initially it was all fairly harmless and very recreational. Over the last decade this has changed dramatically; 2 overdoses, several car accidents, legal trouble, financial ruin, estrangement from family and friends are all fairly indicative that one has a problem with substances. Not being able to go without your substance of choice without the onset of severe illness is fairly indicative of addiction. I had reached that point sometime over the last 2 years and was only staving off illness, not enjoying any euphoria from the drugs I was using. On July 27, 2005, even in my extreme morphine and xanax induced haze, it was clear that I was powerless over these substances, my life was increasingly unmanageable and I was slowly dying.

I called Starlite Recovery Center in the Texas Hill Country and my workplace EAP and made arrangements to check myself in the following day. By late afternoon on July 28, 2005 I poured myself through the doors of Starlite and began my 29 day stay.
The first few days were spent detoxing and were physically very rough. Suprisingly I was in relatively good shape emtionally as I was so relieved and grateful to be getting the help I so desperately needed. The ensuing days consisted of regular meetings including addiction education, relapse prevention, 12 step study and 12 step meetings. It also included a great deal of time and opportunity for introspective thought.

At Starlite, one is housed with 69 other people ages 18-70 who are addicted to virtually any substance that you choose to mention, from alchohol to heroin. There was a police officer, a Russian Orthodox priest, a schoolteacher, a banker, a couple of attorneys and a variety of others. I came to know and befriend virtually all of my fellow addicts and understand that although we were different in so many ways, we were also very much alike and certainly shared the disease of chemical dependancy. This disease does not discriminate in any way.

I completely bought into the entire program, something I had previously been unwilling to do. I began studying and working the first steps of the 12 step program and quickly discovered that what I had for years been resisting would be the key to getting well. I completed my stay on August 27 and arrived home feeling refreshed, reborn and having crystal clear thought.

I've since returned to work and settled into a schedule that includes regular sleeping patterns, regular meals, gym time 5 days a week, no mind altering chemicals, weekly couseling appointments and NA/AA meetings and, as my brother so aptly points out, a rather boring life. The word "boring" is used as a positive adjective here considering the "exciting" life I'd been leading was surely killing me.

People close to me have been amazingly forgiving of my drug indiced antics and supportive of this effort. I feel loved. The family members who I've been in contact with have shown love and compassion. I'm slowly contacting old friends who had long since given up on me and broken off contact. I was particularly grateful for my friend Michael who called and didn't feel the need to tell me how fucked up I'd been (I am acutely aware and can kick myself for it better than anyone else), but simply said, "I'm really impressed and proud of you for taking this step."

I'm impressed with and proud of me too.

The W spin machine cranks it out

It's no secret that I'm no fan of the current president. Indeed I loath that putrid, pathetic, peccant individual. His dismal performance in the days since Hurricane Katrina absolutely nauseates me and is additional grounds for impeachment. But the administration spin machine is in full swing. He is set to now speak to the country about rebuilding the gulf coast (Where was he the day after the hurricane? In San Diego meeting with his Republican business buddies?) and we continue to hear comments from the administration about not playing the "blame game." The fact is that he is to blame; he is the president and the buck does stop with him. The media is slowly but surely getting away from the story of his and his administrations nonresponsiveness to this disaster. Give it six months and the gullible American public will poll as asying the Federal government did a good job.

Welcome! Lets start

Taking a cue from a few people I know, I've decided to try my hand at blogging. My life is interesting enough (at least to me) right now that it seems appropriate to put thoughts, experiences and opinions down for my own review and that of others. And we're off......