Friends and Lovers

I’ve had this really disconcerting period over the last few weeks with just about every friend and a couple of former lovers. I’ve started to wonder if I’ve surrounded myself with unstable, irrational, drama filled beings.

The period began with two former boyfriends beginning to text, email and call me to tell me how wonderful and desirable I am. Yet at the same time they continued to be with and post myspace/blog and other writings about how much they loved and how wonderful the current BF’s are. If I’m so wonderful, why are they not with me? I finally had to tell both not to contact me as it was doing a number on my head.

Then several friends had a variety of meltdowns. Drinking too much, breaking personal confidences, needing psychiatric care but not being willing to accept that fact, playing cat and mouse with the legal system, tripping out on me, being defensive if I suggest there might be a problem, drawing me into drama and generally acting less than stable. I’ve seen all this within the last month and I’m just totally fucking over it.

I try to be a supportive friend. The kind that when you have a personal crisis and need someone there, I show up. No questions asked, I’m just there. When you need a favor, I try to accommodate, no questions asked. I think I’m a pretty good friend.

But I’ve felt like just about every person I’m close to has been too much to handle recently and I just don’t know what to do about it but withdraw. It’s as much a self-preservation mechanism as it is a throwing my hands up and yelling I Just Don’t Know What How To Handle It statement.

So, I’m solitary for a while until either I know how to handle my friends or they decide to start acting a little more sane and they get some help if they need to.