Cousin Liz or Am I Just an Old Queen?

I've known since I was little that I was somehow related to the British royal family. Indeed, my lineage includes notables such as Sampson Connell, wagon master at the Battle of San Jacinto, and Richard Payne Ransom, a Commander in the Continental Army. Growing up, I was very fond of my paternal grandmother, Esther Connell Miller, and my great aunt, Lee Miller Blake, both of whom were member of the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) and the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, organizations for nice, rich, white ladies whose ancestors trace to the American and Texas Revolutions. Aunt Lee could take her thumb off and put it back on which was totally cool to a 5 year old boy, but that's another story. While both organizations have since embraced nondiscrimination, it will be remembered that the DAR banned African American contralto Marian Anderson from performing at their headquarters, Constitution Hall, on Easter Sunday 1939 in the then-segregated city of Washington D.C. In protest, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt resigned her membership and helped arrange a special public performance for the singer in front of the Lincoln Memorial on that day with an audience of 70,000. So there DAR!

While futzing around in old files, I came across the lineage papers a wealthy aunt had drawn up 60+ years ago and I note that the line of names that goes back gets rather impressive: Miller, Ransom, Jarret, Mimms, Poynings, Edward III, Edward I, Alfred the Great and Charlemagne. Now you would think that with that kind of bloodline, I wouldn't have to use coupons and scour the weekly grocery sections for the best deals. Maybe have a footman or two, right? Be driven around in a Bentley? Have someone refer to me as "My Lord"? Be able to spend the weekend at Balmoral? Well, it doesn't appear that's going to happen. Hell, Cousin Liz (we are cousins after all, albeit a couple of dozen times removed) didn't even bother to invite me in at Buckingham Palace when I was there a couple of years back. I realize she was busy getting ready to head to a ceremony and all and she did wave at me as she passed by but a cup of tea with her long lost cousin would have been nice. Instead, all I got was the picture you see above. Ya know, if she came to Austin you can bet I'd host a dinner for her and invite Leslie Cochran, Lance Armstrong and some other Austin notables or at least take her out to the Spoke for a show so she could kick up her heels. Oh well, guess she's just on the snooty side of the family. Good thing I have my own throne even if it is porcelain.