Meetings

I've been attending 12 step meetings regularly for over 7 months now (yes Virginia, he's been sober for 7+ months) and I've recently thought about things I like and what I get out of them. For the uninitiated, let me explain what takes place at a meeting.

The meeting begins with a call to order which, at the meeting I attend, takes the form of a small bell. The Chair of the meeting then reads a brief reminder of what AA is and recognizes individuals to read the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions of AA. The Chair then usually suggests a topic and may read from the "Big Book" or some other source. They generally will share their experience and then turn it over to the floor for open discussion. People may address the topic raised by the Chair or they may raise a subject of their own that they choose to talk about. This goes on till about the half hour at which time a basket is passed for donations. Then discussion is continued until the end of the hour at when time is reserved for last minute comments people need to make ( a "burning desire"). After that, chips marking different lengths of sobriety are passed out and the awardees have the opportunity to speak. The meeting ends with all in attendance gathering in a circle, arms around each others shoulders, reciting the Serenity Prayer or perhaps the Lords Prayer.

When I first attended a 12 Step meeting, I knew for sure that I was in the presence of members of a cult who would surely brain wash me and make me perform their strange rituals. When someone would go to speak and say, "My name is John and I'm an alcoholic/addict" and the people in the room would respond, "Hi John", I'd cringe and think how incredibly strange this all was. Funny how now it's a comfort to me when I say, "My name is Gudpackage and I'm an addict" and they respond, "Hi Gud" (ok, so in the meetings I dont go by Gudpackage, but the idea is anonymity, right?). The motivation behind this is the fact that so many addicts/alcoholics feel so terribly alone and isolated and by greeting a person in such a way, the hope is that they will feel welcome and embraced by people who share their illness. At first, I just felt strange; now, I feel a part of an important group.

As I listen to people speak, I almost always find something useful in what they have to say. Whether it's the story of what it was like when they were using, how they got clean, their continued struggles with sobriety, their frustration of the day or, conversely, their fantastic moment of they day, there is almost always something I can get out of it. Rarely am I bored and sometimes some of the things people have to say or stories thay have to tell are sidesplittingly funny. Inebriated behavior, while often tragic and sad, is also often hilarious and one just has to be able to laugh at things.

Attending these meetings reminds me that the disease of addiction cuts across all socio-economic lines, all racial lines, genders, sexual orientations, religious affiliations and virtually any other dilineation one might care to make. I'm not the only one, I'm not unique and no matter how bad things may have gotten for me, there is always someone who has an even worse situation. One also experiences a camraderie among people with this same experience.

I haven't been able to attend meetings as often as I would like due to my lack of transportation. I've depended on Cap Metro and a thoughtful friend who lives close by and attends the same group. But that's about to change and my attendance will increase. This is important as I need to hear people's stories, tell my own and always be reminded of why I never want to go back to the way things were just over 7 months ago.