10 Final Thoughts for 2005

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which it is possible for one to die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a guy without a hard-on, fix him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks at a time.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for much of anything, but you still can't repress a smile when you see one tumbling down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, when everyone finally realizes that chocolate is a major food group.
Number 4 - All of us could take a good lesson from the weather. It pays no attention at all to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 FINAL THOUGHT FOR 2005: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got single a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe the Department of Agriculture should be in charge of immigration.

by unknown, D. Cutrer and E. Miller